Charlie Sheen's Pink Slip

First off, a note about this week at the blog: SPRIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNGGG  BREAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKK!!!!!

Spring break is kinda my favorite time of year for a number of reasons, the first two rounds of the NCAA tournament being the top two of those reasons, but I'm getting ahead of myself. To kick off Spring Break week, nothing seemed more appropriately debauched than a cocktail in honor of Mr. Full of Bad Decisions himself, the opprobrious Carlos Irwin Estevez.

Yes, the man who brought down Two and a Half Men has already been granted a cocktail in his honor here -- and to be honest, I couldn't give a shit about Charlie Sheen -- but I came across this recipe for a Charlie Sheen cocktail and, post-Sheen's shitcanning, it seemed the only way to improve upon it was to represent said sacking with a color-coordinated draw of grenadine.

I'm not usually one for cocktail recipes that try to pass off literal-minded cutesiness as wit, but I gotta admit, the two-and-a-half (get it? *honk* *honk*) ounces of white whiskey made me laugh, as did the use of Coke (get it?? *snort* *snort*) a-Cola.

Does Charlie Sheen's Pink Slip taste any good? Not especially, but does it really matter?

Charlie Sheen's Pink Slip

(Adapted from

2 1/2 ounces Georgia Moon Corn Whiskey

4 ounces Coca-Cola

1 teaspoon grenadine

Granulated sugar, for the rim

Maraschino cherries, for garnish

Rim a big, fat drinking glass with granulated sugar. (Hey, I just got that! Another cocaine joke!)

Fill glass with ice, pour in liquid ingredients, stir quickly, garnish with cherries that have been stabbed. (Didn't Charlie Sheen once stab a hooker? No wait, he just tried to strangle one...)

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The Charlie Sheen Will Rock You Like a Hurricane

Happy Mardi Gras? This drink is Happy Mar-Winning!

If you drank this drink for five seconds, you'd be like, "Dude! Can't handle it! Unplug this bastard!" It fucks you up in a way that's maybe not from, uh... this terrestrial realm.

This drink has one speed, it has one gear: GO. It's got tiger blood, man! The rum I am on made Sinatra, Jagger, Richards look like droopy-eyed, armless children.

The Charlie Sheen Will Rock You Like A Hurricane exposes people to magic. It exposes them to something they're never going to see in their otherwise boring lives. They may forget about what happened to them tomorrow, but they'll live with that non-existent memory for the rest of their lives. And that's a gift, man.

The Charlie Sheen Will Rock You Like A Hurricane

1 1/2 ounces Rhum Barbancourt

1 ounce 10 Cane Rum

1 1/2 ounces fresh orange juice

1 ounce passion fruit juice

1/2 ounce fresh lime juice

1 dash Angostura Bitters

Tiger's blood, optional

Adonis DNA, optional

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