Charlie Sheen's Pink Slip

First off, a note about this week at the blog: SPRIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNGGG  BREAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKK!!!!!

Spring break is kinda my favorite time of year for a number of reasons, the first two rounds of the NCAA tournament being the top two of those reasons, but I'm getting ahead of myself. To kick off Spring Break week, nothing seemed more appropriately debauched than a cocktail in honor of Mr. Full of Bad Decisions himself, the opprobrious Carlos Irwin Estevez.

Yes, the man who brought down Two and a Half Men has already been granted a cocktail in his honor here -- and to be honest, I couldn't give a shit about Charlie Sheen -- but I came across this recipe for a Charlie Sheen cocktail and, post-Sheen's shitcanning, it seemed the only way to improve upon it was to represent said sacking with a color-coordinated draw of grenadine.

I'm not usually one for cocktail recipes that try to pass off literal-minded cutesiness as wit, but I gotta admit, the two-and-a-half (get it? *honk* *honk*) ounces of white whiskey made me laugh, as did the use of Coke (get it?? *snort* *snort*) a-Cola.

Does Charlie Sheen's Pink Slip taste any good? Not especially, but does it really matter?

Charlie Sheen's Pink Slip

(Adapted from

2 1/2 ounces Georgia Moon Corn Whiskey

4 ounces Coca-Cola

1 teaspoon grenadine

Granulated sugar, for the rim

Maraschino cherries, for garnish

Rim a big, fat drinking glass with granulated sugar. (Hey, I just got that! Another cocaine joke!)

Fill glass with ice, pour in liquid ingredients, stir quickly, garnish with cherries that have been stabbed. (Didn't Charlie Sheen once stab a hooker? No wait, he just tried to strangle one...)

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The Albino Old Fashioned

Have you bought your bottle of white whiskey yet? Why not? The Georgia Moon Corn Whiskey I've got isn't even top-of-the-liniest (that would be this) and it's still supremely drinkable. Have I not yet convinced you of this?

If not, get a load of this: The hands-down easiest cocktail you could ever fashion -- as in old-fashioned (BWAHAHA). This was yet another cocktail I caught wind of while Googling around for corn whiskey concoctions to make. And like the other corn whiskey cocktails I've already made, yet again I was surprised by this one. I just keep on expecting/assuming that my jar of rotgut's gonna taste like, well, rotgut. But really it's so sweet it's almost cute, and its afterbite is pleasingly bracing.

The Albino Old-Fashioned

(Adapted from Bar Celona, a new-ish cocktail/tapas lounge in Williamsblarghburg)

2 ounces Georgia Moon Corn Whiskey

About 4 or so brandied cherries

Grapefruit peel

Muddle brandied cherries in the bottom of a highball glass. Add your preferential amount of ice, pour in whiskey. Run the inside of the peel (the pith side) along the rim of your glass, then fashion peel into a twist over the mouth of the glass before dropping it in. (I've never been fully convinced that essential oils make their way from the peel to the drink when you do this, but I like how much I look like I know what I'm doing when I do this.)

Tasting Notes:

I tried this with a single dash of bitters; specifically, Fee Brothers Peach Bitters. It took a lot of the bite off the front of the drink, almost to the point where I felt it was too rounded. However, that might be just what some drinkers need as an introduction.

To make homemade brandied cherries, combine in a saucepan 2 tablespoons sugar, 2 1/2 tablespoons water, 2 teaspoons lemon juice and half a cinnamon stick. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat to low. Simmer about a pound of cherries (preferably previously pitted) in this mixture for about 3 minutes. Remove from heat, remove cinnamon stick, stir in 3 1/2 tablespoons of brandy. Refrigerate in a Mason jar. These will last a few months, although their colors will start to brown after a couple weeks.

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